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capital letters are optional and will be used or not used as the mood strikes. if you don't like it - well, you were warned.
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2001-07-23 - 1:09 p.m. Is an imperfect acheivement better than a perfect dream? I often find in my quest for perfection that I accomplish nothing at all. Do you know the power you have over me? In your eyes, I see reflected, all that I am or could ever be. The good, the bad, the hope... what I think you see becomes my mirror, perceived imperfections magnified a thousand times until my world darkens and the quest to become what I think you want begins again. So when I feel you don't believe in me, I can't believe, I can't achieve, for your truth is mine, and I can never be more than what you see. Do you see me? Do you know the frightened child in my mind, peeking out through hopeful eyes, pouring out my heart in a look? Do you still love her? Or do you want your cover girl, airbrushed perfection flat on a page, one-dimensional, soul-free? Do you still love me? My love, my heart, my spirit my dream... do you still love me? Do you? Do you want me? Do you need me? When you cause me pain I want to lash out, I want to hurt you back, like I am hurting. I want to seek comfort from whoever will respond. Reassurance, kind words.... lies... I want to find someone to believe in me, to respect me... and I don't know where to turn. You are my rock, my anchor... and you won't even appreciate these words, thinking instead that I am once again being melodramatic and overly emotional. How I hate those thoughts from you. And I drift without an anchor in the sea of my thoughts, tossed from one idea to the next, each one worse and no way to stop the flood, for you won't talk to me. And if I hear you say "but I don't know what to say" from you one more time I just might scream out loud instead of just in my head! leave me a note sign my guestbook |
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