for future reference, the next time you have a thought, and you feel the need to preface it with "i don't know how to say this without you taking it wrong".... just don't say it. keep it to yourself. until you can say it without hurting feelings it is nothing that needs to be said.

we've argued ourselves into a corner. and now one of us has to be "right" and one of us has to be "wrong". and i'm very angry right now. you were more tolerant of other people when you were a buddhist!!

say you're not comfortable with a tree. fine.

do NOT say you're not going to come to my house if i have one. are you going to not go to work for 3 months? there will be a tree there. are you going to avoid all the stores for the next 4 months? there are decorated trees everywhere.

there is no room in your view for people, for other people's growth. no room for me to take baby steps. it's either the wrong way, or YOUR way. and i'm feeling very pressured. because now I can't decide on my own. now it is about making you happy. and i'm pulled and twisted so many different ways right now that there is no ME. please everybody keep everyone happy peacemaker who gives a fuck what i want, huh. no time to even figure out what i want, too busy keeping everyone else happy.

damn it! fuckfuckfuckrfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

can't talk to you.

can't talk to michael.

can't talk to anybody.

stuck with this one in my own head.

great.