not.

i just want to let you all know that i am no more motivated tonight than i was yesterday afternoon. in fact, i accomplished nearly nothing this weekend. i feel like such a slob. although, i did get my suitcase unpacked. from last sunday. just the big one. the little one is still sitting in my living room full of books and souvenirs.

but hey! i got fish food today. so my fishes won't have to get flushed due to starvation.

speaking of "flushed...." i hate being a midget. i'm sure none of you have ever suffered from chronic leg cramps from not being able to reach the floor while sitting. i may be the only person in american that really wants a foot-stool... for my toilet... how sad! how utterly sad. this said while resting my feet on my file boxes because putting my toes on the floor makes the cramps in my calves flare up.

like i said. midget.

on a different note... i just weighed myself out of curiosity, and dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt at the end of the day, i weigh almost *10* pounds more than i did this morning! that is truly frightening! i guess i will have to keep my monday "weigh-in outfit" for a bit longer. jeans must make a lot of difference. seriously, let me think here... there is an 8 pound difference from first thing after getting up, undressed... and now, in jeans.

and jeans.... i am wearing jeans today that i haven't been able to stuff myself into for about the last 8 months. the numbers on the scale i haven't seen for almost a year. it is so GREAT to finally be seeing the numbers going the proper direction. i am finally understanding the plaque on michael's moms wall "nothing tastes as good as being thin feels". as the wedding approaches, i find myself weighing [no pun intended] every snack decision, every supper choice, against my goal weight for the wedding... "is this snack worth not making it to my goal in time for the wedding?" the answer is more and more often "no, it is not worth it."

and i find myself having strange bursts of motivation... we were watching "double jeapody" on cable tonight [ the movie, not the second half of the game show] and seeing ashley judd, skinny, beautiful thing that she is.. inspired me to go do my ab-roller for five minutes or so. and, i didn't even beg a piece of pizza from michael when he had supper. aren't you proud of me? [please say yes!]

i just wish i could figure out what causes this strange burst of motivation so i could duplicate it at will. certainly would be handy for the rest of my life.

hm.. and suddenly coming to mind is the thought that my "older" links are just way too complicated to keep up to date. i'm going to have to rethink my archiving plan. i'm already up to "older6" on my archiving page, and i've only been at this for two months.

any ideas? suggestions?

well... there is a really interesting program, teaching about disciples and the life of jesus....i keep getting distracted... so i'm going to quite for tonight. besides... i really have great intentions of getting up at 6. and leisurely showering.. and doing makeup, and fancy hair....

we'll see.