i'm getting addicted to you guys. you know, the ones who read my musings, [and sign my book :) ]... and those of you who write, and give me something else to think about.

this could work. this could work well.

if i need to have a net addiction, it is much better to be reading what you all have to say, instead of wishing that cory would write. maybe i can get over this after all. i know that michael will be much happier.

my friend says this happens to a lot of people; to be deeply in love with one person and to suddenly find yourself in the depths of infatuation for someone else. it will pass, she says. i'm sure she's right. but in the meantime, the whole process of trying to not hurt michael's feelings any more, and to get this obsession out of my head... it is really hard.

and... thank you to all of you who told me i was not forgetable or boring :)... i almost hate to confess... but what i was really thinking of is...

come on, three guesses and the first two don't count....

yep. cory. what else? i was thinking that i hate being so easy for him to forget, so easy to not write, to not contact me. and here i am, missing all that lavish attention everytime i let my brain get not busy enough. tell me, girls.... what is wrong with me? i am married to a wonderful sweet man who i love dearly. so why is it that i suddenly have this craving to strike up a relationship with a guy i have not seen or talked to in ten years? and, in truth, we never quite made it to being friends in the first place. he was my great wannabe. but fate or the universe or something conspired to keep us from ever dating.

so, why do i feel this compulsion to strike up a friendship or relationship or whatever? i don't understand myself. can you tell me?