i asked you once if we could "just be friends" and you wrote back that "just be friends" is all there is for us, right? except... it's harder than that. because there are too many unanswered questions. too many unknowns. too many "what if's".

what if i had not gone off to college that summer? what if i had been better at writing and keeping in touch? what if you had realized just how much i wanted to go out with you? what if you had gone off on a road trip and come down to visit me? what if.... what if....

what if....

one of the most dangerous and least satisfying phrases in the entire english language. "what if", as an excuse for not being satisfied with what you have. "what if": always looking for that greener grass. "what if": being greedy.

how do you get over wondering about "what if"? i thought that we could work through it all in email... i thought we could just talk through it all, and then knowing how it could-have-would-have been, we could settle down and just be friends.

but, why do i say "just" friends? after all, what greater gift is there than friendship? friendship, a meeting of the minds, a shared understanding, an inner link, a satisfaction of knowing someone else understands you, someone to be there when you're happy or sad, someone for encouragement, someone to advise, a trust.... spouses are supposed to be best friends for a reason. there is nothing else in the world better than a true friend.

there's no such thing as "just" friends.

i would consider myself truly blessed if i could count you as a friend, cory.